Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My vagina just clenched in fear
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
