White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Vodka?
Forever.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
