Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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