PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize