Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
