i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
