Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
