Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
