when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
