i barfeds in our rink
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
