I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
