went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize