id be glad to
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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