I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
