just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
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He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
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I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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