Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
