whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
