Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My ass is underappreciated
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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