i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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