We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
