I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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