My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
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we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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