I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
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I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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