She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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