u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We just shotgunned beers for America
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
