We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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