then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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