I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
