Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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