My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
