I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
