Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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