I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
