I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
