Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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