I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
