I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
please come you make the beer taste better
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize
