Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
