i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think my moral compass just broke
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize