Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
