no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
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So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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