Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
