I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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