who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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