It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
