He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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