Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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