I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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