Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize