ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
