I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
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I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
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DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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