Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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