never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
