so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
