no you cant smoke seaweed
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize