Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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