why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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