hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
