GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
