I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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