I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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